| I feel empty, like something's missing. I watched The ShawShank Redemption yetserday, it's am amazing film, but after the film, I felt sad. We all watch movies for that few hours of escapism, because the truth is, we'd rather be watching other people's lives and their happy endings, than to watch our life replay before our eyes; all the mistakes that we made, things we do that make us cringe on hindsight...
And all this while, I've missed you. Been burying all my emotions under a carpet, telling myself "Study first, Emo later". And let's face it, no one likes feeling sad. And all this while I've been lying to myself, telling myself things that I wanted to believe in so badly, that if I repeated it over and over, maybe I'd start believing in myself, even if those things I'm saying were a lie. I missed those days when we would talk on the phone at night, sharing our lives with each other, and constantly communicating, like how friends should. Why are we like that now? Where did everything we built go to?
But admist all these sad feelings and unanswered questions, one thing struck me: I SHOULD BE THANKFUL TO GOD. Firstly, here I am, moaning about my life, talking about my petty problems in an air-conditioned room, full from dinner and island creamery, just finished watching a movie on a relatively big television in the company of family and friends...when there are people out there all alone, starving, cold, and helpless. Here I am with so many blessings, yet I chose to dismiss my surroundings and only concentrate on how I was feeling. Gosh how egocentric am I.
Secondly, I give thanks to God because, no matter how much shit I think I am going through, my God is always with me. Every step of the way. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Indeed, indeed. And turn your eyes upon Jesus, and every thing in earth is secondary compared to His greatness. It's times like this when I remember that My God, IS God. |
